But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

worries cripple my desire to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. i think i could be diligent in my daily responsibilities. but even if despite diligence, i experience instability /uncertainty in areas like finances, job, relationships, future, etc... i hope eventually my peace of mind and heart won't be dictated by these things. why do i think my daily concerns fall outside God's control? the past few bible studies and sermons have been good in helping me rethink and recognize God's authority over all things, from natural storms to supernatural demons. and even if my prayers aren't answered the way i'd expect, i'm seeing that it's God maintaining his good plan. sort of in the same way ben pointed out yesterday that Jesus can assent to the pleadings of demons and faithless people, and then say no to the healed man who begged to travel with Jesus - i can imagine it was with the utmost earnestness that he begged, out of immense love and faith for the dude who had just ended his emotional/physical/spiritual enslavement to thousands of demons. thankfully, with the 'no,' Jesus adds words of direction. sometimes i feel like my prayers are like, "oh God oh God.. my loans!!!! are you going to help me?? should i be working here right now?? do i really have to give this and that up???? circle: yes/no. and p.s. these are legitimate concerns!" but he responds, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." i've been seeing in my own life how mature faithful people follow this command despite money, timing and other logistics not falling into place - and God provides..

Interesting little Short Story

A Parable of American Politics

Not so much just a statement on politics, but rather one about human rational?

unexpected loss

It took me awhile to figure out how to publish a post on this blog. I normally don't blog, let alone journal, but I wanted to share with you all what I experienced this week.

Early Tuesday morning as I was getting ready for work I saw that I had a missed call around 12:54am, from Sam Chukwuma. Sam is a third year student at Georgia State University and attends my GSU family group. That afternoon, I received a text from Iyanu Adeleke, another family group member who said, "hey edith, i don't know if you know but roy kerlegan died last night in a motorcycle accident." While sitting at my desk, I gazed at my computer screen in shock. Putting the pieces together, I realized that Sam called me to confirm that Roy passed away 11:00pm Monday night.

In my third and last year of college, I led a family group at Georgia State University. It was our first year ever having family group. We had about eight or nine members attend weekly and Roy Kerlegan was one of them. Through Sam's persistence and persuasion, Roy decided to come out and join our weekly bible studies. From what Roy shared with me growing up in Evans, GA near Augusta, as a child he always attended church with his parents every Sunday. He grew despondent and critical of the church after witnessing the church leadership and pastors behaving hypocritically and not truly setting an example he would want to follow. Every week during bible study, Roy would ask questions, "who is Jesus?", "why do you believe that such a person would sacrifice himself for us?" these were questions that most of us don't normally think about especially if we've been Christian for a long time. Roy's questions and his curiosity enabled us to really think about who we serve and why we believe. To incorporate a group discussion with everyone on the same page, we focused our study on the gospel. While discussing the gospel and sharing our personal testimonies, I could see Roy's heart slowing opening up to the idea of having a relationship with God.

As easy as it was to have regrets, all I could do as a family group leader and older sister was to love and accept Roy for who he was and I trusted that this was all I could give him. I remember praying that something in how we talked, how we laughed with him and cared for him would show him that who we are as Christians is real and genuine, but a transformation that only God could provide. I soon found out two days ago that Roy received salvation a few months ago and was joyfully attending a church in Atlanta. Roy Kerlegan died at the age of 20 years old. He worked as a general manager at Chik-fi-la, a full-time student, and a mentor on campus. Due to his hectic schedule he was unable to join us for bible study after his freshmen year. In memory of him, a devotion was held on campus in celebration of his life. It was special hearing different individuals from the study body sharing about the ways Roy inspired, motivated and loved them while paying their respects to his parents and younger sister. This helped his family witness the kind of college experience Roy had.

I'm so thankful knowing that Roy left this earth receiving God into his life and that the choice was his. I'm attending his funeral this Saturday in Evans, GA and in memory of him I will give his parents a copy of the 2007-2008 JCA Live recording of our family group "PB&J" performing a skit to Lifehouse. Apparently, his parents didn't believe him when he told them he was in a play/performance =)

"Rest"

just to add to tonight's bible study, here are notes from sunday sermon discussion - of the different ways that people defined "rest":

-restoring: metaphor of fields/crops not growing for a period of time in order that soil can be restored
-satisfaction
-includes both physical and spiritual
-"sharpening your ax"
-a spiritual discipline that jesus practiced in order to hear/listen to God. has intentionality and focus
-holy
-purification
-feeling complete in the Lord: nothing you can do to gain/lose